Monthly Archives: November 2011

Declaration of Freedom


Declaration of Freedom

I am free to live my life as I now see it, as I wish it to be

I have the right to live my life free of other people’s expectations, whether positive or negative

I have the right to live my life free of other people’s perceptions, whether positive or negative

I have the right to express myself freely with respect for all of life, without fear of punishment or withholding

I have the right to live freely without undue influence from other people’s thoughts, opinions, energies and patterns

I have the right to investigate, explore, question and transform any unwanted patterns or perceptions and burn them in the fire

I am free to let go of all past inhibitors and start over at any time I choose

I am totally free to deny what others claim as truth if it does not resonate with my higher guidance system

I am free to say no as much as I say yes

I am free to walk out the door if freedom beckons me, knowing that I am safe to explore all that life has to offer

I am free to follow my own trail, leaving the path wide enough for others to join me

I am free to begin each day as new, to test my previous habits, to overcome and make good

I am free to just be in the world, not to toil at the mercy of misplaced power or money, but to give and gain with equal vigor

I am free to follow my own inner visions and callings to the deepest Heart’s core

I am free to follow the tracks of my ancestors, then forge a new way

I am free to say hello and goodbye with equal grace and tranquility

I am free to celebrate life and be happy, always

I am free to respond with love and happiness, regardless how others choose to respond to life

I am free to realize my own potential, and to meet each day as an opportunity

I accept responsibility for my life and choices, knowing no one can take that away from me

I choose to live my life with freedom and purpose

I choose to live my life with great power and a sense of destiny

I am not bound by fear, fate, mistakes, or other people’s wish to control or manipulate

I have opened a new door

May I shine my light brighter than ever before

May I love, honor and value all whom I meet or even think about, assuring them of this like freedom

Dear God, may my purpose be Yours: To live in the full bloom of freedom and joy, all the days of my life.



Notes on Personal Freedom:  This is a personal declaration coming from an inner strength and need to detach from over-care and self-sacrifice for the sake of those who may not be owning their personal freedom and responsibility.  This could be those who wish to oppress or use us for their purposes, or those who need us to take care of them (knowing we choose this role and not them).  When we are consciously free, we set free.  When we are authentically happy, we extend true happiness.  This balance is delicate as we learn to take care of ourselves more fully while extending love and compassion to others; giving our gifts freely, while receiving fair compensation when necessary, owning our value by honoring and following our unique calling in the world.

Still, I believe:

“One who thinks alone does not think.”


“One who thinks does not think alone.”

We also honor those who contribute their thoughts, feelings and intentions, which help to meld a newer or  more honed collective understanding. We are also aware that our thoughts have an impact on others and so choose them wisely.

Life is full of judgements and contradictions.  Accept the paradox. We are each responsible for our own free will, and we also need to cooperate with each other to go forward and thrive.  This requires a constant process of discovery and discernment.

First, we learn to honor our inner Knowing, guided by the highest principles of which we are capable at that time;  then we learn to trust and extend freedom and forgiveness to all, contributing to the creation of a much more inhabitable, peaceful world.

Here is a woman who epitomizes freedom, like it or not. I happen to love it.
What do you think? Do you think personal freedom is selfish or the doorway of personal choice? How do you see freedom operating in your life?  Do you give yourself permission to live with greater freedom? Do you allow others the same freedom?  What are the boundaries of this shared freedom?

Write to me below!

What Is Your PASSION?

Passion flower

passion flower

Today I was inspired by 2 programs that had the very same message:  We are each born with a precious gift. I am not talking about a burning talent, though that can be a part of it. I am talking about your purpose, your Presence, your Passion.

What were you born with? What came to you when you were young that you or someone else squelched?  Was it a passion for words, or numbers, or people? For God? For art? For business?

My daughter seems passionate about art and business – hence, she opened her first art shop on the corner of our driveway at the age of 8 or 9.  My son came to me at 11 and asked to take guitar lessons – it was not something he was forced into – it was something he wanted. And he “played”, he didn’t practice – it was not work to him. He was naturally dedicated because he was passionate.

Dedication comes from passion. We can’t be dedicated to something we don’t believe in or care about. And for good reason. How can we be passionate about someone else’s agenda?  How can we work for a company and feel passionate if they only care about the bottom line and not the people who support them?  It matters what we do, because it matters how we feel.  If we are not doing something we feel passionate about, then we are drain to ourselves and others. It is our responsibility to find our passion and use it.

I found my passion at the age of 7 when I got my first blue diary. I learned to write in it and express my inner thoughts and daily happenings.  My writing grew into short stories and poems, then essays, and now books and blogs. My goal changed from self-expression (for myself alone) to communal expression (to serve a community).  So, writing became a means and not an end, with the deeper passion being to use words to connect people together.  This was exciting to me, and fueled even more passion for discovery.

I am now at a place where my passion has led me to talk. This was uncomfortable for me at first, and then I realized it is natural for me to express myself! I love talking to people intimately about the details of their lives, their inner stories and passions, their hidden wishes and desires. I love to stir the pots of their souls and see what’s brewing inside. And I love to contribute to their passion by re-kindling it in them, reminding them who they really are.  This is my true passion!

That is why, as an actor, I loved expressing scenes between two people. It was the intimacy, the soulful connection I most longed for, not the limelight. I wanted to feel deeply, to express, touch and connect – to Transform. That was the miracle that occurred when I took that scary leap.

I have no idea where this deep passion in me came from.  I have always felt akin to people at a deep level. And when I am reaching them through words, feelings or actions, their passion gets reflected back to me – I see it in their faces! In their eyes. They connect and hear themselves in what I am offering.  Then they are moved to be themselves.  To be honest and true.  To be passionate!

It is all about that movement, that dance, that symphony. We are attuning each other. Some people can hear it a little more than others. It is a service to help others tune in to themselves and hear their own calling.

There are a lot of things I want to do. But one thing is for sure – I don’t want to do anything without passion. The people I relate to and work with now have to have it too. They have to feel it in everything they do.  If they aren’t honest about themselves and what they want to do, they can’t have authentic passion.  You have to really connect! You have to listen. You have to be willing to go there.  That is a tall order, but I wont’ settle for anything less. I have worked in an office environment where there was very little passion.  And I’ve been stuck in relationships or environments serving other people’s interests where my own visions got lost in the mail. But I have learned to translate all of that experience into something beautiful and new.  Something from deep inside. I’ve learned to direct all of it toward that greater goal – PASSION.

Do you feel passion? What scares you? Can you feel it? Do you ever get tingles inside. I do, all the time. My mind is constantly spinning and flowing with new ideas and visions to feel passionate about. I hope that you find your tingles too.

“Tingles” are a good sign for Passion. You’ll know it when you feel it!

What are you passionate about?

P.S. Write to me below, or email me at Tell me what you’re passionate about. The act of writing it down creates a shift inside, and inspires others to do the same.  Thank you for sharing.

Do Clothes MATTER?

women and clothes

me prepping for video

Instead of writing a blog this morning, I decided to explore a question. This began by buying some new clothes last week in preparation for doing video, and soon became fertile ground for discussion (or argument!) among women and men. I began researching and writing about what it meant to me and others, “putting it out there”, and now I’d love to hear what you think:

Do clothes matter?  What is the meaning of clothes?

YOUR TURN!  Answer in the comments field below. I would love to know your thoughts. Let’s talk about it – the better or worse of clothes.  What it means to you, others, Godsends and conflicts.  This may turn into a greater discussion (it has!), or a live telecall (it will!).  HANG ONTO YOUR HATS – MORE COMING SOON!

In the meantime, some food for thought:

Clothes can become a more accurate reflection of what a woman does and who she is becoming in the world, including a variety of tastes, feelings and possibilities.  To a woman in full bloom, it cannot be denied how beautiful her shining petals and frame can be. The power of her expression and fullness cannot be underestimated.  If it is, she feels a wrath and bitterness that her very soul is being denied, not just her clothes. The conversation on clothes soon blends into a spiritual discussion as if the two are very much related.


What is the meaning of clothes to you? How does personal appearance influence your life? Do clothes and personal appearance influence how you see yourself or how others perceive you in the world? Should they?  Does what we wear matter? How? Should a woman spend money on clothes to better herself in the world? When does it matter? Does it interfere with her ability to blend in, to be a part of a group? Can it alienate people?  Can a woman shine without it? When has it made a difference to you in your life or someone you love, or where in your life do you feel it could?  Where in your life does it not matter, and how does it influence your relationships with others, your partner, friends, public, strangers, etc.?  Do you feel you may have missed any opportunities based on your personal appearance? Do you feel you may have been helped by your personal appearance in attracting an opportunity, partner or  group? (eg. Dating, job interview, community group).

And the deeper questions: Do you think clothes go against the spiritual dictates to turn away from material possessions, physical appearance, or “the world”? Do you feel we’re called to sacrifice our physical selves to be spiritual?  Do you feel clothes separate us or unite us, or both?

My video blog on the subject:


YouTube video: Do Clothes Matter?


Learning How, and other Hat Tricks

Tonight my daughter was teaching me magic tricks, whilst she was making them up on the fly. Some she knew well and was proud of herself; others, she stopped and hung her head low. “I forget” she said, or “What was I doing that for?….” I knew what she was struggling with: self-confidence in learning something new.  She was so eager to present it all to me “perfectly” (and I did laugh and clap as a good audience would), but she knew she wasn’t there yet. There’s no faking that.

I feel the same way in my journey. I am just learning how to do things I never knew. I thought I knew because I’ve watched others do it. Or pretended to. I’ve read books about it. But when I stand up there, or speak, or sing, or whatever that “thing” is, I pause. Sometimes I will pause mid-sentence, or stop altogether. No, I didn’t want to say it like that. Can we try that again??

Right now I am learning to do video (for my website). I’m used to having a set around me, and others to do all the handiwork. Even when we were doing short films, others had the technical jobs. I just stood where I was told, and said my lines (that part was my responsibility and I delivered them well, I believe).  My job was to  “get out of the way”, and let them do their job. Find a quiet corner to prepare myself and let the rest take care of itself.  Not anymore!

I did my first technical setup the other day. I was quite proud of myself! It wasn’t perfect, I’ll tell you. But I was quite amazed what I could do by myself. I guess I have learned a few things! But the true test comes when I learn how to use it. What I will use it for.  Saying what really matters to me, that I want to share. That is the nail biter! Once it’s there, there’s no turning back. It’s time to go “on”.

Why do I want to try something new at this time? Why not just excel at what I’m already good at? Why not just keep doing commercials, or letting the “other guys” dictate what is going to happen to me instead? Isn’t it easier just to sit on the sidelines and hold my breath?


I’ve never been one to sit down on a challenge. In school I was the same. Always the overachiever. I couldn’t just sit back and slack off.  I had to know everything I could about what I was doing, and then I had to give it my all. And I did. A little too much, I think! But that pride in doing my best and outshining myself is something I’m used to. I”m not so good at being a beginner.

I know other women who tremble at the thought, when someone suggests that their natural talent at something might blossom into a business. “Who me?” or “Oh, that little thing?”  Such modesty hiding under the covers. I just want to rip them covers off! Pardon the image, folks. But it’s true. There is so much talent just waiting to be unveiled. But you have to say yes, I want to. I’m willing to. I’m going to take the next step.

If other folks believe in you, why can’t you? What is so hard about learning something new? Half the time, we’re already half way there – we’ve already got the talent, some skill, knowledge, will. What else do we need? Just courage. And a little time to sow our seeds.

Get sowing folks! Our field needs rowing. It’s hard work this planting and hoeing.  But oh! What a surprise, when that rich soil produces that tiny sight. We just want to peel over with delight, reach down in wonder at what our hands put asunder, that field of green has blossomed from YOU!

As my daughter walked away tonight, after doing about eight million hat tricks, I told her, “Don’t give up!  Remember, you did all that by yourself, but there are lots more tricks you can learn. You’ll get there! It takes a lot of learning!”  She seemed to take that in, at least I hope she did.

I hope I did, too!

P.S. Tomorrow I will give this video thing a whirl, and see where it goes. Forgive me my mistakes (I don’t have a blueprint), I’m just learning. But I bet it will be great, once I get the trick.  And I will, too!  And so can YOU!

P.P.S.What’s your latest hat trick?  What are you still struggling to get the hang of?  Have you started yet? I’d love to hear  about it below.  🙂

The Miracle of Letting Go

Krista in Del Mar

I can’t  plan this. Some academics spend eons planning, researching, writing and editing their material. Forgive me my typ-os (typos?), my dangling participles, my fragments. This is the joy of creating, like a delicious soup that gets made from half-made things all thrown together into a stirling mix. Who can plan this? Who wants to?

Have you let go of planning yet?

Preparation is one thing. We all have to buy our tickets to get to where we’re going. But once we’ve prepared and shown up, our job is to let go and experience it.

Here’s what happened to me:  I met a woman in a cafe whom I have admired for a long time. We spoke briefly over the course of a year.  One day I returned to the cafe just brimming with my news, of what I was doing with Evolutionary Women, this circle of women I started in Scarborough, who wanted to connect and transform, together. I was sparkling with joy. The mists had parted, and she noticed this exuberance, this life. She wanted to know Everything, as most women do (which I adore). I told her my story. First, the five-minute version, which wasn’t enough. She was enthralled. Tell me more! I told her how I got to where I am now, what I had to give up – the trying, the “efforting” for a pre-set notion of my future. But it wasn’t working. Everything felt like a no-fly zone.  I was lost in a daydream, a maze with no door. Then I awoke. I joined several groups, sought help. I began talking, searching, writing, creating. I struggled, I fell down. I didn’t know how I was ever going to get there, this nebulous new world. I didn’t know how I was going to start all over.  I had visions, daydreams, images that would come to me, words that would flow through me all the time. I was pretty isolated then. It took time to build a support team. I became relaxed into this new way of being. My life became an editing room. I was being edited down to my finest, most crystalline form. Everything else was tertiary.

Soon, in the span of two years, my daydreams began to form. Something Inside began to show up all around me. I began to transform myself. Show up differently. There were dips and curves, valleys. Breakdowns and breakthroughs. I suffered A LOT. So did my family at times. I knew I had to change the way I was thinking about myself and my life. What I was here for. It wasn’t to glorify myself. I had to go a different way. I had to let go!

Letting go doesn’t mean having nothing, or doing  nothing. It doesn’t even mean loss necessarily, as it is so often associated with grieving.  Sure, I cried my tears in the letting go of “me”, who I thought I was. The pain of sustaining an image of myself that I couldn’t live up to (that wasn’t true). I had kept  my true thoughts well hidden. It took awhile to crawl to the surface and breathe dry air. To trust that I could tell others the truth. That I wasn’t happy the other way. I had to let go.

Letting go is New. It’s You!  It’s Why We’re Here, What We are For, It’s the deliverance you’ve been waiting for! It’s the door!  It’s Thank God I don’t have a plan anymore! Thank God I can just be me! Isn’t it fabulous, just to be me?

And then – people started noticing. People started wanting to join with me, to participate in: to listen, to speak, to share their hearts, their minds, to co-create. To begin! Suddenly I was not alone – I became swept up in a giant swell. There was something much more important at stake – my happiness and theirs, not some arbitrary future life I wanted to create – No. I wanted my Life NOW!

This is what happened when I let go:  My woman friend and I sat and had a real conversation. We lit up the room. The world closed in around us like a giant blanket. Other women listened and enthused. Possibilities and ventures sparked. We started saying Yes, I would love to do that. Let’s talk about it. Now, things are happening, and I have so much to do!

How did it all happen?? I couldn’t have planned or predicted this. I had an idea to join with other women. To  connect. I began to create something small. I thought of doing more, reaching more women. I talked and wrote about it – A LOT. Too much, in fact. But, I didn’t give up. I got positive feedback. I kept putting it out there. There were slumps and insecurities – there still are!  But this idea, this adventure, this feeling to keep going kept coming to me. I kept dreaming and sharing. And soon, when I took that terrifying step of asking someone about renting a space to hold a workshop –  THEN and only then – I heard the giant chorus of YES! chiming back at me.  Other women wanted this too. Then – did I notice: This was a good idea! It wasn’t just some “idea” in my head. Some other scheme to “get ahead.”  It wasn’t just for me anymore, it was also for them. Serendipity took over. People started approaching me for more. This was something brewing deep down in the hearts of all of us – at least the women I’ve met. And even men!

What really surprised me, when I let go and just spoke to this woman from my heart, was that she wanted to work with me one on one.  I had never done this before.  I didn’t know what I would do. How could I? How could I know what she was going to say?  To plan would have been interference.  I had to trust. I felt humbled by her trust in me, in the Presence – because that is what it was. My Presence spoke for me, on her behalf. I saw who she was, felt the tingling sensation of Yes! shouting through her – through the aches and pains of what was. I knew her.  I wanted to join with her and help her as so many had helped me. And, because I allowed that Presence to speak for me, instead of some rigid, academic plan, some psychology degree – I knew what to say and when. I had compassion. At first, it just stumbled out.  But then, as the energy moved me and I SPOKE. it just rang out!  Her eyes lit up and she said, “Wow…this is Amazing.” I felt that too. I was as amazed as she was. I felt totally connected, totally alive, totally gifted by that moment with her presence too. Our awareness grew.

It is amazing what we can do when we don’t have a plan. When we let go. It’s amazing what’s Inside of us when we just let ourselves LIVE and give others permission to do the same.

The same thing happened the other night in a workshop I was giving.  It had become more of a Circle, a quiet space of reflection and sharing. I had written reams of material, I had hundreds of exercises swirling around my head – some we had already tried which were quite invigorating, and I believe helpful. But this time was different. They had already begun without that. This time, it wasn’t “all up to me” as I had felt before, and so many women who carry that sense of responsibility very heavily. The burden of caring too much, planning too hard, frightened of the unknown. Afraid to surrender. To trust that I had enough.  That I was enough.

I sat uncomfortably in my chair at first, knowing “I Have a Plan”. Then I listened to the women open up, their stories naturally spilling out of them, the electricity of their knowing filling the room. Their intelligence, their insight, their banter. Their laughter!  Who could interfere with that? What more could I give that they didn’t already have?

I had to let go. I had already created this space for them to grow. They had already accepted, shown up.  Given themselves. All I had to do was listen and give what came to me in the moment. I offered my thoughts, my passion, which caught fire when I spoke.  I noticed when I tried too hard and stopped.  I listened to myself. I remembered what my purpose was (to give them a space to heal) and spoke from my heart instead. And then they lit up.  Because I was being true. There were still challenges and discussion. Healing moments and successes.  Opportunities for further growth. Things I could do to help in future, but waited. It was not appropriate now. There would be more time. This was only a beginning.

At the beginning of that night, in silent preparation, I had lit 9 tiny candles in the centre of the table. And as I quietly sat by and listened, my friend turned to me and said, “Nine candles. Ah….  Birthing”  She smiled. Beamed, actually. And now as I looked around at their faces, the nine women who came, we resembled the light itself.  It was our quiet sanctuary. I felt I had done something exquisite, without “doing” anything at all. I had given myself permission to just be there, and to let them as well, to have faith that we would do the right thing together. Like women who know how to give birth to something. No doctor can tell us how to do it. Nature just knows.

Women know. They understand each other. We are natural creatures. Our instincts get dampened by too much structure.  We need room to grow. That’s all. Just a room. Just a space. Just a collaborator or two.

Give yourself a little space to let go…

And let the miracle happen to You.

P.S. This is my way of surrendering. I’ve spent years thinking too much. And still do. I use to get rewarded for getting my semi-colons right. Now, all I want is You!  To be happy. To be joyful. To reach people in a new way. To let the Spirit move me! I hope it moves you too.